Momming Basket

ChelseaLeave a comment

Yep you read that right. Momming. Nope it isn’t a real word but I am not talking about a morning basket and for lack of a better imagination Momming is the best I came up with.

Most homeschoolers by now have heard of a morning basket. A calm start to the say where you can read, play, and just work into the day. These are beautiful ways to start the morning with your children. From poetry or reading to board games and beads, your morning basket can be anything you want it to be and be used anyway you want it to be also. But enough about that because that isn’t what you came here for. You came here for a momming basket.

What is a Momming Basket?

Well just like a morning basket helps ease the children into the day, a momming basket eases YOU into the day. That is, it helps you go from sleeping to functioning in a basic but productive, engaging, positive way. It is the beginning of your day signaling your brain that sleep is no longer an option however maybe the waking hours aren’t all that bad. And it eases your brain and body into a basic functioning level to be ready for the demands and requests from the beautiful little monsters you corral each day.

Basic

We are not looking to disprove the theory of evolution here. We are simply trying to wake up the brain. Make it think about more than R-O-Y-G-B-I-V and Fractions., while also not over working it to the point that it gives up and can barely think of names. You want this to be light thinking. My favorites are EASY crosswords (they make me feel smarter when I do them on my own) or Sudoku. I also found this fun Jeopardy Challenge crossword book at my local Barnes & Noble that lets you solve jeopardy clues to find in the word search. I love Jeopardy (RIP Alex Trebek, it isn’t the same with out you) so this is just a fun little incentive for me to do it more.

Another option would be learning a new language. I am committing to learning more ASL this year so I am doing a shorter basics class on Udemy. I also am taking a break at this point but will eventually pick back up DuoLingo for Italian and Japanese. 5-10 minutes for a lesson is perfect for a momming basket because it doesn’t take up a ton of time but it isn’t so short you feel like you aren’t learning anything.

Engaging

You want to look forward to it. Help it be one of the reasons you look forward to getting out of bed in the morning. Or not. You could sit it right next to your bed and do it before you even rise for the day. If am the person that if I stay in bed I will just go back to sleep so the faster I get up and moving the better off I will be. Plus, I am not really awake until I have had that first sip of coffee in the A.M. This can mean that it have something fun for you to do. What do you enjoy doing? Something with your hands would be a great addition. Think coloring, knitting/crocheting, cross-stitch, painting (a little messier but you do you boo-boo), drawing, even painting your fingernails. Something that gets your hands moving and lets a little creativity out!

No one is going to see this if you don’t want them to. You can be as creative as you want and you don’t have to be good at it. You just have to enjoy it. Do you love to draw but don’t think you are good? Draw anyway, or better yet follow a drawing channel on YouTube. I love Art for Kids Hub because I can follow along and they make me feel like I am a really good artist. They also have a few tutorials on Art Next that is geared for older people that I really enjoyed and thought were excellent. Have you always wanted to learn how to knit. Watch some how to videos and make small dishrags until you get the hang of it and are more comfortable with making more intricate things.

Positive

You could also find yourself buying or creating a journal for thoughts actions and gratitude. Think of 3 things each day that your are thankful for. It is also a little boring to write that you are thankful for your house, and husband and kids. And while those are important, I definitely think you could probably be a little more original. Journaling is just one of many ways you can do all of these things. You could choose to do a video, a dream/vision board, read a book or anything that helps you have a positive outlook on the day

Last, you want this to be full of those feel good feelings because we want to start the day off right and seep that positive energy into our body and surrounding environment. This can be as easy as a short (or long) meditation. Focusing on your breathing and inhaling positive and exhaling negative

How do you implement this?

So when do you find the time to do this? Well if you are like me you have 2 options. Set the alarm clock for 1 hour before your children get up. Hit snooze 4 times and then get to it while your children are all (semi)settled with breakfast but have to cut it short because milk just got spilled and then you forgot and so you will finish it when you get home later.

Or… If you have any sense of self-control and the ability to wake up on time for anything in their life, you can do it before your children wake up or after if you have the ability to enjoy it while your children are jumping off the refrigerator. Oh, that is just mine? Cool.

This isn’t meant to last all day or even half the day it is just something for you to do to take care of your brain and your mental care. I wouldn’t dedicate more than about 30minutes to an hour to it. 15 minutes is even enough to get this started. If you don’t finish something you can put it off until tomorrow. Like I said, this isn’t going to be seen by anyone else, This is just for you. Have fun with it and come back and show me what you put in your first momming basket.

Rhythm vs Schedule

ChelseaLeave a comment

What kind of family are you? Are you the family who goes with the flow, each day looking a little different? Or are you the family that a clock can be set by, always on time and never a minute past where you should be? I know we are much closer to the first one that we are the second. Having a baby plus two school aged kids, means I don’t get a lot of break time. It seems like we are always off doing something else.

A schedule keeps us tightly bound to tasks for set amount of time and allows for very little flexibility. Picture quickly moving from one task to another or staying one a task even when it is no longer serving its purpose. A rhythm keeps us going with the flow of the day but also lets us know what is coming next. Children knowing that when they wake up, they get ready for the day but then have some playtime before getting down to their chores. Or when the attention on todays reading wanders off, letting them get up and move on rather than keep droning on just to get through it.

So what does that mean? Don’t kids thrive on a schedule? Isn’t the latest research saying that schedules are the building block of consistency and that they better prepare children to know what is coming? Does it though? Some people thrive with a schedule. Knowing exactly what they should be doing every minute of every day. If you are like me though and sometimes don’ t know how much time a task is actually going to take to complete, schedules can be intimidating and daunting.

Here’s 3 reasons why we use a rhythm:

  • Keeps us consistent while allowing flexibility
  • Allows time to be used more productively
  • Gives them better sleep and down time

Keeps us consistent while allowing flexibility

When we follow a rhythm, it keeps us consistent. It keeps us following the same path and lets the kids (and my mom brain) to know what is supposed to come next. Wake, chores, play, school, lunch, etc. It allows them the routine of how our days look. They know what they can count on happening and when it will happen but it also allows us to fill up empty spaces with fun. It allows for moments of connection. It allows for us to have the time to fall into the interesting topics and not worry about how much we are straying from our schedule. Because it doesn’t matter what time we stop reading and start math. What matters is that they know that even if we choose to read one more chapter, afterwards we will do math. And while we may not do the full 20-30 minutes that we typically do, it till still get done and we will still learn all we need to.

The greatest gift that homeschooling has given us, is the gift of freedom. We can choose what we learn and when we learn it. It also gives us the opportunity to embrace opportunity. When there is a beautiful sunny day, we can take the day and go to the park and put the curriculum aside. When there is a snow day we can go sledding then come in and put on a movie. The rhythm allows for this because while we are structured in what we do we can still toss it aside and continue to find little moments that make big differences.

Allows time to be used more productively

Have you ever sat through a meeting thinking “Well, this is a waste of time”. I think we all have. Why keep things going when they are clearly no longer being productive. Having a rhythm means the children and I can expect what is coming next but if we finish early or are no longer being productive with our task at hand we can change directions and it doesn’t interfere with what happens in our day. All that changes is what time we do it at. That also means that if we need extra time because we fall down a rabbit hole, then we can easily catch back up by cutting other activities short.

Math may come very easily to you. You may get to your math and it is an easy concept. So you get it done in 10 minutes. But mom/teacher says you are supposed to be doing it for another 20 minutes. So your options are to look over your work (boring) or keep going with your lesson and do more practice (boring and insulting). You already know what you are doing, that is why you finished and now as a “reward” you get to do more? Does that sound productive? To me it sounds like tomorrow I will make sure I don’t finish it so early. But what if I finished quickly got it right and got to move on to something more interesting. Or something I was having trouble with and didn’t get to finish.

Can you imagine a child who has found the topic so enticing when learning about ancient Egypt that they want to continue to read about it? Venturing into learning about canopic jars, embalming, mummifying and more. Did you know that Isis, Anubis, and Osiris were the Greek names for Ancient Egyptian gods but that Egyptians called themselves Kemets and they called the Gods Aset, Impu, and Usir respectively? I didn’t but my son did because I let him use his time to read what he wanted to rather than forcing him to do something he didn’t want to do.

Now imagine that you loved learning about Egypt but then your 30 minutes of ancient studies was up. And now you had to move on to something else. How frustrating would it be that you want to know more but you are made to move on to something your find WAY less interesting. Your head is not going to be in the subject.

Allows for better sleep and down time

I don’t know about you but my children are getting to the tween age where they want to stay up late and sleep in in the morning. What does this mean for me? Well it means quieter mornings with just the Mermaid and the Munchie around. But it also means that I can allow those mornings, where Monkey and Monster need the extra rest, to happen. We are not set by a clock on getting out of the house most days so if they need to sleep in for an extra 30 minutes or 2 hours, all it does is shift our start time. Since the girls aren’t doing school work, it really doesn’t change much for us. Once the girls are doing work, the boys will also be in a much more independent place and so even if they wake up later, they are likely to be able to still maintain their own rhythm.

I don’t know about you but in this day in age, I swear we are all just running from one task to another. We each know what we want but we also have to be pulled in so many other directions, that it doesn’t always happen. When is the last time you read a book for fun, went outside just to sit and watch the clouds. The rhythm allows for us to have more downtime. Well what do you mean? If we are following a rhythm, shouldn’t all moments of their day be accounted for in the blocking? Yes and no. Each moment has something accounted for but what happens when lunch only takes 15 minutes instead of 30? That is 15 minutes where they have the options of continuing in their daily rhythm or they could manage it themselves and choose to do a fun activity, picking up where they left off after they have completed their next task. My kids and I prefer the latter. Taking the time to relax and decompress multiple times a day to get ready for the next task is a form of self care. Learning to just be. Not be busy, not be doing something, not be cleaning or cooking or whatever. But just learning to be with yourself and your thoughts. I feel like this is the biggest gift of using a rhythm.

It allows you to have time just to be; free from the chaos of a predetermined day-to-day schedule. To be able to appreciate the moment, your home and all that is around you.

That being said, having a routine or schedule is invaluable and can be a fruitful tool for manifesting a more organized and fulfilled life. Knowing what to expect and the structure of what the day will look like can help you to tick off tasks that are necessary and not leave anything to chance.

Ultimately, finding a balance between rhythm and schedule is key. Incorporate a good amount of both into your life and be sure to make space for moments of spontaneity and flexibility when needed. It’s important to remember that your process doesn’t have to be set in stone. Be mindful of what works for you and don’t hesitate to make adjustments that support your self-care and well-being.

Get Outside This Fall

ChelseaLeave a comment

I know what you are thinking. I MUST be crazy to start wanting to get outside more right as the weather starts getting colder. You aren’t wrong. I am crazy. I hate cold weather. Which means I need to do it. Why? Because it shows not only my children but myself that I can do things I don’t want to. That I can handle hard things. That when motivation is down, a lot can be said for enjoying time in nature. I truly believe that time in nature can help cure most bad days.

Chalk Drawing with Monkey

But what do I do? How do I get outside when I don’t want to. First, I say yes more than I say no. I swear kids have this innate sense to be outside. And that the more they are outside, the more they want to be outside. Weird but true. So when my kids ask to go outside, unless I have a pressing reason (like it is a bad storm, not we have to make lunch), I say yes as long as we can be outside for 15 minutes. You would not believe how quickly 15 minutes goes and it adds up so fast! Before you know it, you will be at 50 hours in 2 weeks just like us.

Download the fill printable below!

But I also have this fun printable for you to be able to check things off of (mostly) free things to do with your kids this fall! Don’t have kids? No problem, they all can be done sans kids with enough imagination and carefree will!

Download it HERE!

Why I chose to attempt the 1000 Hours Outside Challenge

ChelseaLeave a comment

Have you ever just felt called to do something? It isn’t often that I get this feeling but every once in a while, I just know I am doing the right thing. I felt it with being a mom. I felt it with staying home and homeschooling. I felt it with this. Notice how it all centers around my kids? Yeah. There are mistakes I have made in my life. So many choices I have wondered or known weren’t the best. But my kids are not even close to one of them. With them, I know I am meant to be their mama. And I know I needed to attempt this challenge.

I love my children dearly, but with 4 pulling me in different directions, we have gotten away from time. Time together, time to ourselves, and time with nature. In this digital age, everything is instant gratification. Everything is here and now. But in nature, you have to wait for the ground to thaw, the plants to bloom, the leaves to fall, and the sun to rise. It always happens but only on its own time. I used to feel a connectedness to nature. Like I was home when I was outside. Some of my favorite memories from growing up are from being outside. I remember being outside from the time I woke up to the time I went to sleep practically in the summer. I remember being on my bike the entire day, rolling down the neighborhood hills.

Grandma and I gardening

This past year we had a great school year. We did a lot more together, it was more organized and we had so much fun (well if you ask me, if you ask Monkey and Monster, they probably have a different idea of how it went). But I still felt like something was missing. Then I read Call of the Wild+Free by Ainsley Arment (not an affiliate, just a fan) and wow. Then I read Home Grown by Ben Hewitt (also not an affiliate). I felt such a purity in the way they were living life. Exploring nature, spending time connecting to Earth and each other, living off of their land and it just called to me. This is what is missing. In my wanderings through the internet, I came across 1000 Hours Outside page and a wonderful community started and growing through the efforts of Ginny Yurich. We all know how competitive I am, so naturally we were going to do 1000 hours. But see, I didn’t think about it. I didn’t plan for it, and we fell WAY short. Because 1000 hours outside doesn’t seem like much until you calculate that that is almost 2.75 hours a day! Do you spend 3 hours outside a day? Yeah, most people don’t. So it takes some serious intentional planning. So I’ve started my plans. And along the way it may turn into not having to. But right now I have to say yes, when I want to say no. I have to make the plan, when I want to stay home.

Monkey has a screen addiction, lets face it my whole family does. But screens affect his mood a lot more than the rest of us. He eats, sleeps, and breathes screens. Shows, games, now web searches, and it doesn’t matter what. Tinkerbell, Barbie, Pokémon, if a screen is on, it has his attention. So to break us all of the habit I decided to hit us hard with not only starting our 1000 Hours Outside challenge but also taking away screens at the same time (at least during the week) right at the beginning of our year!

Monster punting the football at 7am on a Saturday

They pretty hated me for two days because they got their chores done and *gasp* didn’t get screens afterwards (insert horror scream here). Instead they played with LEGO, we have gone to the park, we have ridden bikes, played football with the neighbors, and gone on a walk, made chalk pictures, and eaten ice cream. We started 6 days ago and already have almost 21 hours hours logged. They won’t hate it forever. Because soon it will become part of them.

Playing in the stream in the Smoky Mountains

They will see trees, sticks, streams, insects, and everything in between, as home. They will learn to observe nature, care for nature, and experience nature and all of its beauty. They will ground themselves in their surroundings, get natural vitamin D, learn to listen to their body, explore, learn, and live. Is it the right thing for us to do? I don’t know. But I do know that I have said yes to going outside a lot more than I have said no to screens in the past 2 days. And for that, I may just make it to 1000 this year.

How my son hurting himself, helped me

ChelseaLeave a comment

I’m sure you are thinking “Wow, she is crazy for thinking her son being hurt is a good thing.” But first, he is fine, nothing major, just needs to rest. And second, life lessons come in the weirdest forms. You can’t always control it.

See, I am working on presence and patience with my kids. Something that, especially lately, I have not had enough of. But something shifted today. Not because I spent more time with them or even was more patient with them, but because I realized the more I create the foundation of the family and fill in those cracks, the more solid they can build our walls. So let’s get on with it.

Beautifully clean bathroom

Let’s start with this bathroom. Does this bathroom look like a 10 year old cleaned it?! No?

Because he didn’t. He took a spill today while riding. And while he saved himself more pain because he hopped off instead of straight falling off, he managed to twist his ankle in the process.

But today was his day to clean the bathroom. Typically, I would have let it go. What’s one time of missing the bathroom being clean? Ultimately nothing. We would survive, the bathroom would get clean next week, and life would go on.

But what if I cleaned it for him? What if I took the 15-20 minutes and cleaned it myself? This…

He saw that it is ok to rest when he needs to.

He saw that family, helps family.

He saw that Mom can be lenient and understanding. (Something he probably doesn’t see enough)

He saw that we all live here and are responsible for the state of the house.

He saw that he doesn’t have to do it all (though he will probably still tell you he does).

And what did I gain? A child who can find peace and know resting is ok because we will be there to help.

Oh… And a MUCH cleaner bathroom than he would have had… But baby steps…🤷‍♀️🤣

But what about the big kids?

ChelseaLeave a comment

I talk a lot about my kids in general. But I know I ramble more about the “when they were little” phases. You know sleepless nights, potty training, and teething.

When they are little all those problems you encounter are new and seem huge and hard to manage. You aren’t sure what to expect. And not to mention you are dealing with them on very little sleep and even less caffeine because of course you don’t know where you left your coffee this morning! Even after working with kids in one capacity or another for more than 10 years before having my first child, I still didn’t know things. I guessed… A lot! I knew the development. I knew the rough ages of what they should be learning and when. I knew how to potty train. I knew I didn’t want them to have a pacifier past one year (insert eye roll here).

Now don’t get me wrong. I have GREAT kids. Honestly! For the most part, they are respectful, well behaved, mostly good listeners, and they have good hearts. They drive me nuts a lot of the time but all in all I can’t complain and honestly, I’m not sure it is because of me. But I digress.

See what I am noticing though is that we are moving into this new phase. Most of you know it or at least remember it. It is this time of finding your voice and who you are, being awkward, making bad decisions and even worse fashion statements. We are entering… the TWEEN years. (Bum bum buuuuuum)

But see these are not the years I am accustomed to. I don’t know how to handle these years, especially for boys! I barely made it through these years as a girl (which I am also not looking forward to in about 8 years with Mermaid). I surely was not paying attention to how my male cohorts experienced these years. Now yes, my husband is familiar and takes an active role in these situations but where are the I’m a mom of a tween boy posts. For real though, can you moms who have been there, done that start making infographics and blogs and quick study stuff for these years because it is happening and happening fast!

Here’s what I have learned so far… It isn’t much as we are just about to hit 11 so follow up with me in say 2-4 years and I’ll let you know how wrong I was

  • Try to remember at this point privacy is becoming a big thing. Knocking on doors, giving them alone time, etc. It teaches them to respect your space as much as they would like theirs respected.
  • They still need hugs and kisses. They may not show it often, but they still have a little bit of little kid in them that needs the affection.
  • They are finding their voice and sometimes they can cut you deep (because, SURPRISE, they legit are with you now). But if you listen to what they say, you may just realize that they are telling you exactly what they need, just maybe in a jumbled mess of big emotions
  • Their interests can literally be anything. With as much as I would love to not listen to a 30 minute lecture on the healing power of 3 common crystals, or a 15 minutes diatribe on a Pokémon I have never even heard of, or have him talk to me in sentences that have 1 or 2 words replaced with their Latin counterpart, I also will NEVER squash those interests because they are important to him.
  • I need to reach out more. I can’t expect him to come to me. He is too anxious of a person and too timid to admit that he “doesn’t know” something and so I have to go to him and sneak in those little lessons through a back door conversation

See it isn’t much, but I’m learning also. I’m learning to apologize when I do something wrong. I am learning that I have to deal with my emotions appropriately if I want them to do the same (oh hey ADHD and anxiety! Thanks for that!). I am trying to get better about privacy for all of my children, because it is about respect. I know I am going to screw up. He’s the first. But we will still get through this together. And I am hoping that taking the time this year to really learn and bond with each other, it will be a huge step in the right direction.

I can say this… He still hugs me and tells me he loves me and that means the world to me❤️ So maybe I’m doing something right🤷‍♀️

Take the stress out of tests

ChelseaLeave a comment

Let me be the first to say that standardized testing is NOT for everyone. But here in Virginia, end of the year as a homeschooler also means having to show Proof of Progress (POP) to our county’s Superintendent. And this is where the worry starts to set in. Have we done enough? Will they pass? When do I have to start testing them? When do I have to have the test scores submitted? What if they don’t pass? Will I still be able to homeschool? My child did horrible in public school on tests, there is no way they will be able to test to show progress. YOU.ARE.NOT.ALONE!

My children regularly test well above the standard for Virginia and they are excellent test takers (they even find it fun… weirdos) and I still stress more at this time of year than any other.

Ok so let’s start with who needs to test? In Virginia, if your child is 6 no later than September 30th of that academic year (Ex. for this year it would be 6 on or before Sept 30, 2021) you must provide Proof of Progress to your superintendent that year. If your child was still 5 as of September 30th, you get to wait another year, save the rest of this for next year and enjoy your summer.

If you are like me and have to show proof of progress, let’s keep going. You are going to need to decide which method of Proof of Progress you will use. In Virginia, your options are limited and not, at the same time. The law states:

§ 22.1-254.1(C) The parent who elects to provide home instruction shall provide the division superintendent by August 1 following the school year in which the child has received home instruction with either

(i) evidence that the child has attained a composite score in or above the fourth stanine on any nationally normed standardized achievement test or

or an equivalent score on the ACT, SAT, or PSAT test, or

 (ii) an evaluation or assessment which the division superintendent determines to indicate that the child is achieving an adequate level of educational growth and progress…

Assuming you choose to show POP through a testing option, you then can choose which Nationally Normed Standardized test you will use. There are quite a few options you can choose from but the important thing to note is that these tests are NOT the same as the Virginia SOL (Standards of Learning) Tests that are administered to public schoolers starting in 3rd grade. Using this link, and information provided by HEAV (Home Educators Association of Virginia) you can get a quick overview of what the tests are like, who can administer them, and if they will suit your needs. Personally we use the untimed, online version of the California Achievement Test (CAT) through Academic Excellence and have been happy with it but all of the testing options are going to have their pros and cons.

How do you know if they passed? Here is where it gets confusing. Each test is going to have different sections on it that are all scored. Some tests include history and science, some only test Math and Language/Reading. No matter which test you child takes. You only are required by law to send in the combined score from the Math, Language, and Reading sections. This combined score can be called base score, composite score, etc. It doesn’t matter what it is called as long as you know what it is that you have to send in. If you test results do not come with this score automatically, usually you can call the testing company and have them send you that specific score separately although it may cost a few dollars extra. So you have all of your scores. The raw scores are great to know specifically where they need help for you. However, only the percentile or Stanine number matter to the district. If your child has scored in the 24th percentile (4th stanine) or ABOVE for their combined Math/Language/Reading score, congratulations! Your child has passed and now you just send in those results and enjoy your summer!

I think it is important to note for parents and children alike, that your child is not likely to know every answer on the test. This is done on purpose. The test will not count those answers against them per say if they are not in the normal range of knowledge for that child’s age. If your child does know them though, that is fantastic.

What if my child won’t test well? Most children test just fine, even those with differing abilities, however, you also have the option to choose to have your child evaluated rather than tested. Evaluations are done by a licensed teacher or a person holding a Master’s Degree in any academic discipline who also has knowledge of the child’s academic progress. An evaluator has final say on how they will evaluate each student. It can be through a self made test, it can be based off a portfolio supplied by the parents, it can be a discussion with the student or many other ways. The evaluator will then supply a 1-3 page report on the progress of the student and if that is sufficient progress for that student. In a few districts, the superintendent may allow parents to submit a portfolio of work directly to them to be examined and evaluated but this is unorthodox and not widely used. If you choose to attempt this method, I recommend contacting the superintendent’s office and asking if it will be accepted. If it won’t be, use the portfolio as part of the progress shown to an evaluator instead and let them write the report or letter stating progress is sufficient.

What if progress isn’t shown? In the event that your child does not score high enough on their standardized test AND and evaluator will not write a letter stating they have shown sufficient progress, what are your options? There unfortunately aren’t many. My first suggestion would be if you child does not score high enough on a test, go with an evaluator. If the evaluator will also not provide proof of progress, you do have the option to retest (if done early enough) using a different test, or following the test makers recommendation on how long to wait between testing (usually 2-3 months at least). If you choose to send in the low (non-passing) scores, the superintendent has the right to place your homeschool on probation. At that point you will have to provide evidence that you have the ability to provide adequate education to your child as well as a remediation plan to make sure that your child has sufficient progress the following year.

If you are placed on probation AND your child does not show progress for a second year, your superintendent has the right to require you to enroll your child in a formal school (not necessarily public school) setting.

What if my child has a documented learning disability or needs accommodations for testing? If your child has these conditions, it is possible to have the test still administered. Contact the vendor of the test you are using or the test maker themselves to find out how to get the accommodations your child needs.

But I don’t think my child needs to be tested… There are a few other exceptions to the proof of progress rule. If you are homeschooling under an accepted religious exemption through the state of VA then you do not have to show Proof of Progress. If your child has graduated, your child is exempt from the Proof of Progress clause. If your child is being taught under the certified tutor option, they are also exempt from the proof of progress requirement whether the “tutor” is the parent or otherwise.

It seems scary and stressful but it doesn’t have to be. If you have any questions about it, comment below and I will answer to the best of my ability.

The Snuggles Don’t End Here

Chelsea3 Comments

I read an article today. And as I was reading it, I could relate to it by being a mom, but as a homeschooling mom, I just kept thinking, “How sad!” This article was talking about soaking up the snuggles. Enjoying the peace of the early years and especially the early months because the snuggles end, kids need you less, and you can’t always protect them or watch over them.

Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy those early snuggles too. You know, the ones before they can wiggle out of your arms. The ones where they look at you like you are the beginning and end of their world (because you are). The times where you can just sit and be with them because they don’t need you to do anything other than hold them. Those early days are great.

But this article was stating how you have to let go and miss those days when kindergarten starts. How they become less dependent on you as time goes by. How as they get older, they don’t want to snuggle with you. And that makes me sad. It makes me sad because it doesn’t have to be that way. Not if you foster the relationship. Now, I’m not saying stunt them and make them rely on you for everything but it is ok for them to still want to connect with you.

See in our little world, weekly snuggle sessions are just a given with all of our children. Hugs and kisses through out the day, I don’t care how old you are. I teach my children to be independent and do for themselves but just because they can do it for themselves, doesn’t mean I won’t still do it for them also. If they want me to make them a smoothie, I will make it if I am able to. Are they also able to make it, absolutely. But they are also learning that sometimes it is ok to ask for help. Just because you are capable, doesn’t mean you are alone. I think independence is important but I also think learning that family is who you can depend on is also important. My children are 10 ½, 8 ½, and 3. They all snuggle with me. They all hug me everyday. They all depend on me for different things at different times. They all also understand I will support them in any way I can, while I foster their learning and personal growth. I carry them while teaching them the skills to be independent. I allow them to spread their wings with the safety of me being there to catch them.

I would never say this is unique to homeschoolers as I am sure many public school children are still this way. I would also never say homeschoolers can’t be less snuggly and more independent, I know many of them. What I am saying is I don’t have to miss those moments. I don’t have to wonder what is happening at school today and if they will tell me. When they get hurt, I get to make them feel better, not a teacher who has 30 other children to also deal with. But me, their mama, who has been there comforting them since the moment they were born. When they have a great success, I get to share their joy. I get to watch over and protect them. They get the freedom they need with the safety net to make mistakes and be caught by someone who won’t ever stop loving them. They get to learn that mistakes are going to happen, but I will always be here to help them clean them up. They get to learn boundaries while being reassured that they are allowed to feel however they feel.

Yes, the days are long, and the years are short. But I get to see it all. I get to still be needed even after school begins. They don’t have to look to a teacher. They don’t have to look to a friend. Mom and Dad are always here, always willing to help, and always willing to learn along side you. We are in this all together and I love every second of it.

Yep… That’s me… I bet you’re wondering how I got here…

ChelseaLeave a comment
Monkey, Monster, Mermaid and I in the OBX
May 2021

So it all started just over 11 years or so ago. Pregnant, 24, and making barely over minimum wage as a 2’s teacher in a daycare. Let me just say my paycheck wouldn’t have paid for the daycare bill. So a choice had to be made. Staying home wasn’t something I had ever wanted. I wanted to work, I wanted to contribute, and to make a name for myself doing something. It was just supposed to be a season of life. One day it would change back to normal.

After giving birth, I loved that little boy with everything I had. It was an adjustment but more in that I was taking care of one little potato that cried rather than herding 16 cats children around a classroom all day. I was tired and stressed and very over whelmed (sleep deprivation and I have never gotten along, but that is another story) but I couldn’t have imagined leaving that little Monkey with anyone all day long. I hated to be away from him. My heart physically hurt leaving him anywhere.

I still can’t imagine it. While I have grown a little bit and let myself get breaks in the form of child-less weekends or nights occasionally, I still can’t imagine missing all the little things in our day to day. I get stressed and yell and I get overly critical about things at times but I also get to snuggle, read, teach, and play with them all day. I can’t imagine not being there when they read their first sentence. Celebrating when they did their first multiple digit addition problem. Or taking the day to go to the park to play with friends or family just because it is a beautiful day and we can’t waste it inside.

So, 3 (soon to be 4) kids, almost 11 years, lots of tears, lots of laughs, and here we are. I may lose my mind before they are all out of the house. I may have already lost my mind and that is why I continue on this journey. But this is my path. I am the semi-crunchy, yelling, homeschooling, crafty, pinterest-worthy party throwing, feral (because there is definitely nothing domestic about me) housewife and mom who attempts to help with family finances buy selling handmade clothing, shirts, sweatshirts, tumblers and more. I struggle with being enough and I continue to question every choice I have ever made in my life (oh, hey anxiety!). But I honestly do love my kids and my life and I am thankful for everything it had brought me. So if you are new here, Welcome! I can’t wait to share my life and musings with you.

Finding your perfect space

ChelseaLeave a comment

As a homeschooling mom, when I first started, I thought I needed the perfect set up. They needed a little space they knew was for school and that work could get done simply, messily (they were 5 and 3), and then be quickly picked up and we could move on. *Wishful thinking* I worked for weeks on painting their play room and setting everything up just so. I had everything I thought I would need including a smaller table and chairs set that was easy for them to sit at. I had a cute bookshelf I had redone and a rug for a reading nook. I had space for art work to go and everything was set up so cute.

Our little corner before it was completely done.

Within weeks it deteriorated into chaos. There was stuff everywhere, we rarely used it, the toys in the playroom were a huge distraction for them and I found it easier to sit on the floor and work with Monkey on reading and math. Plus, we also (after time) realized there were some major allergies to the carpet in this room and so they actually NEVER went in it because they would start coughing and wheezing every time they did. (That has since been fixed and now they are actually about to move into this room as their bedroom)

But as I said chaos still reigned so I was still trying to find a solution. I “needed” a school room. I felt like I wasn’t really doing this if I didn’t have a room. So I tried again in a different area that was more accessible to us and them and I actually used this space for 2 years in various set ups.

I also was watching a friend baby daughter so I had space to rock her and for her to play in. I did actually love this space.

This space worked so well for us that from about halfway through Monkey’s Kinder year through his 3rd grade year, this is where we were. The stuff changed as they learned about new stuff and toys were added, furniture moved. But overall this was our “School Room”.

However these days it is the play room. With a TV for video games and kid shows/movies, a couch, a bookshelf, and a toy shelf. There isn’t much in the way of school there. But that is because over time I have realized I don’t need a room. I just need storage and to minimize. So I got rid of all the extra tables, maps, and such. I now use our dining room table. The boys both focus so much better there than anywhere else and it is big enough to fit all the kids plus their school stuff and not be cramped. Our dining room is also attached to a sitting room area that we have their computer in, their gecko in, a desk (just in case) and the shelf that holds all of our school stuff. It holds all of our curriculum and resource books. It hold projects, my “teacher” stuff, activity books, and extra supplies like glue and pencils. The bottom of it even has cabinets so I can close the doors on some of the mess and keep it contained. All of our art stuff is on a 3 tiered cart that is easily accessible and they can use when ever they want. The trick with this room is that other than a wall map and a couple cute school-ish type signs for decor, it is completely functional as something other than a school room. It also has sitting chairs, a fire place, a beautiful window to look out, and a peaceful feeling.

I guess what I want to say to the new homeschooling mom who gets jealous of all the beautiful spaces they see on Pinterest and Instagram, “Don’t worry, your children will learn just as well curled up on a chair, or sitting at your dining room table, or out back on the ground as they will in a special room just for school.” You don’t need a room, you just need you, your child, and the love and will to teach them from your home and heart.